How to Practice Loving-kindness in Difficult Times, January 2020 Newsletter

Hi friends,

How are you?

If you are like many of the folks who attended our First Friday practice for January, you may be feeling many emotions you didn’t expect during what you hoped would be a “fresh” start. Maybe there is disbelief, sadness, anger, or fear—even terror… Maybe you hoped those feelings would go away soon, and then they just didn’t.

You are not alone. I feel it, too.

This last weekend, I attended a retreat in celebration of Dr. (Reverend) Martin Luther King Jr. I know celebration is a loaded word during a time that is so difficult, both for racial justice and many other reasons. Because of all of this and personal circumstances in my life that I am unable to talk about at the moment, I felt I needed this time now more than ever.

The retreat was focused on Lovingkindness, the four brahmavirahas (or Buddhist virtues we can cultivate in our practice and our lives): lovingkindness, compassion, appreciative joy, and equanimity.

We talked about how this practice is connected to King’s Christian faith, his profound love of God.

King was arrested 19 times. He was stabbed almost fatally. His family received death threats daily, and many times he felt alone in his suffering… but then, in the hardest moments, he would find what he called “Cosmic Companionship.” He says this, “As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation -- either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course.”

In my own life, especially now, I am tasked with suffering that has felt insurmountable, and yet I look to my ancestors, and King especially, to guide my footsteps. The path is paved with tears and grief, deep pain and tremendous fear… but also courage… but also love.

I have made a commitment to myself, and to each of you, that no matter what happens, in my personal life or in the world, I will not close my heart to this love or to this pain.

If your own heart is heavy, if you feel you can’t go on, please know you are not alone.

This is an invitation to open your heart. You can deny it if that’s not where you are; that’s okay—sometimes our heart needs guarded.

If you are ready, though, know that I am here with you, supporting your commitment, as are all of our ancestors who lived their life in service of hope.

If you need help, please reach out. Share with me your pain, and I will hold it in my practice for you. I will shield you with lovingkindness, sending wishes for love, happiness, peace.

Take care, friends. Take care of those beautiful hearts.

Love,

Brandi

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